I lost a friend.

​I have Cystic Fibrosis. I’m sure that’s not new information to anyone, nor is the fact that people with CF can't mix so making friends is kind of a hard task.

I have a very small handful of CF friends, non of them are people I talk to every day but I love them all and we all share very unique experiences that nobody without CF can.

One of these friends was a girl from America, just a couple of years younger than me and all to similar in every other aspect. We both listened to the same music, found things like SFX make up fascinating, and were both definitely stuck in the mid 2000s emo scene.

My friend had a double long transplant when she was 16, her health bounced back with her new lungs and she got to do so much. On her 19th birthday she even got the tattoos she'd wanted for ages.

Unfortunately her health didn’t stay as good as it could have, and she ended up getting very sick toward the end of last year. She was in and out of hospital, had to get a feeding tube placed again and was on oxygen a lot of the time. She got to spend Christmas and New Years at home but ended up back in hospital and being sedated and and on a ventilator just over a week into the year.

My friend passed after a couple of days. Part of me is screaming inside, part of me is saying it’s not real and she’ll message me tomorrow and it’ll all be fine.

I don’t know how to end this properly, I just wanted to say something because I’m hurting and I don’t know how to go about it. If you’ve read all this thank you, and be patient with me.